Boys vs. Girls

I just love all the parenting magazines I receive. I always find such amazing articles that help me navigate life with my child. I was especially excited to get the latest magazine of Parents. I've been praying and praying for help with Sam and to be quite honest really just for my own sanity and my own insecurities. I've worried so much about his behavior and what seems to be his lack of attention. I keep being told how normal it is and just when I start to accept it, his behavior will change again and then I'm left asking the same questions as before. Well this gem of an article I'm writing of is by Jennifer Fink who is an expert in early childhood development. I love that I can be confident that this author knows what she's talking about.
The article is all about helping your son succeed in school. Sam is going in to preschool this fall and I'm a little apprehensive about it. We attended the open house the other day and he seemed very interested in the toys and books. He didn't seem to interested in a deep conversation with his teacher or what the other children were doing. I feel like time is running out for me to get prepared to send him off.
The article explains the heartbreaking statistics for boys in the first school years and how the negative effects can follow them through their whole life. Boys are four times more likely to be expelled from preschool than girls and they are twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. It was interesting to learn that schools now a days are geared towards girls and they rule the classroom. While this is wonderful and works for girls it creates a very one sided gender achievement gap to the detriment of boys. I am now reading Dr. Michael Thompson's book "it's a boy". He states that boys start out at a disadvantage, "three out of every four boys are more physically active and developmentally immature than the girls are". Boys chemical makeup is vastly different than girls. I learned that there has been a major shift in early childhood education, especially in preschool. They focus more on academics rather than social skills which is what every child needs. Dr. Thompson goes on to explain why girls are more caddy and typically emotionally unstable through out school based on the fact that their dopamine levels are lower than boys. Dopamine gives you the sense of physical euphoria and also regulates movement and emotional responses. Boys are for all intensive purposes much more happy than girls. They can just let things role off their backs, they focus more on physical activities and stay away from the emotional crap that young girls face. (Lord bless me with only boys...pretty please). Boys can also have a hard time reading. Children were expected to know how to read by the end of Kindergarten, but now they are expected to learn by the end of preschool. The article explains that Boys are as smart as girls, they just manifest it in different ways. Even though a great majority of boys like Sam know their alphabet, shapes, colors and can read some, they still fall behind simply on the basis of behavior. Sad really. They are judged so early for being trouble makers when they are just doing what "boys do" and living up to what "boys are". I was happy to read that boys are more successful in understanding how things function and are built vs. the dreamy idea or concept. More males are designers while girls are artists...and yes there is a huge difference in the two. Girls can write the stories, but the boy knows how to market it, publish it and reinvent it. No matter how much society tries to switch the gender roles, it just can't stick. What boys did then, they do now and girls are just going to have to accept it.
My Mom was an early childhood educator and expressed to me that she always dealt with the boys better than the girls and that they need a certain style of educator to help them succeed. Thoughts of gender segregated schools, children in uniforms and a curriculum based more on physical activity makes me feel more calm. England has done it for hundreds of years, it seems to be working. Schools have practically removed all physical activity from the school day. Yes they have recess, but they restrict children and stifle them on what to play, how to play and for how long. With all this talk of childhood obesity you'd think they would give the kids an extra 20min to play, which is exactly what a boy like Sam needs. They take away the jump ropes, the dodge balls, the street hockey sticks and blow their whistles when the kids appear to be running to fast. Annoying!
The checklist for a successful learning environment for boys is as follows:
Seek out a boy friendly school. 
Make sure there is recess and physical activities. 
Let your child follow his passions.
Give your boy downtime. 
Resist early labels...which means really make sure he's ADHD before you accept it.   Teachers are not experts on the subject and they are overly opinionated without much to back it up on the subject of behavior.
Consider waiting an extra year for them to catch up. This seems the hardest because you don't want your kid to fall behind, but what really matters? Do what is best for him.
Here's to a successful preschool year and being calm and collected and open to Sam's growth.