A Stinging Salsa Sensation

It was time once again to make good of this years gardens bounty and make our annual Burnette family salsa. I am in no way a green thumb. In fact I can't step foot in to a veggie garden without getting stung by something or discover a new allergy resulting in itchy hives. So I of course naturally we all use my parents masterful skills to grow a garden of which we all greatly benefit. We've enjoyed the plentiful zucchini and frankly I think Jordan could go without zucchini for a couple of years. The tomatoes seemed to have a funny lag or something this year, and their size was smaller. Non the less they are tasty (or so I've been told, since I don't eat them direct from the garden) and perfect for salsa. I've always been mocked for preferring grocery tomatoes over garden grown...yes I'm strange and picky and for some reason the taste of a garden tomato is like dirt mixed with soap. Sometimes the grocery tomatoes are like that for me too....so obviously it's ME and I will accept that. I digress. So to get back to the topic of the post (I think the capsicum is getting to my brain) my father apparently knows how to grow the spiciest peppers on the planet. He had to have gotten a strange mix of seeds the last couple of years because his banana peppers are more like Anaheim, his Anaheim's are more like a red Marisol, his traditional jalapenos are way more like a hot red Fresno, and at least 1 or 2 of his green bells were mistaken for Pablanos. I'm also quite convinced the he grew some bird chilies as well because when I looked on the web today for types of chilies I noticed the Thai bird chilies looked a lot like the ones he's grown that he thinks are over ripen jalapenos.

If you don't like drama don't read the rest.

I love to chop and cook, it's relaxing for me so I didn't think twice about it. Of course I wanted to cut the onions and garlic last because they always make me cry and the garlic makes me too sticky so I went ahead with the peppers and chilies. So needless to say I'm stupid, didn't wear gloves (for the second year in a row, you'd think I'd learn) and for the last 22 or so hours suffered from the most intense searing, scorching, fireball singeing, burning digits to date. So bad that it felt like my hands would spontaneously combust. The burning didn't start for about an hour after I had chopped them up and half way in to the onions I panicked. I couldn't even finish the salsa making process with my Mother because I couldn't hold anything hot or well anything at all. I felt so bad, but she knows it's all her fault anyway for making me cut those peppers...Just kidding Mom! I was so worried about changing Sam's diaper so I would wrap my hands in wipes until there was no flesh showing. I couldn't put any pressure on my hands without almost crying. I tried everything. First I started with just plain cold water, it was lovely, until I couldn't have my hands under the faucet anymore. Bagged ice worked great, but you still can't get anything done. Then I did alcohol, salt, sugar, anti bacterial hand wash, vegetable oil, milk, baking soda, lemon juice, um lanolin soap, pumice degreaser soap, 4 different kinds of lotion, and hydrocortisone cream. Finally I just realized that I'm just going to have to carry around a baggie of ice. So, to dinner with the family and while driving in the car (which Jordan said was scary) I had this damn baggie of ice. When we finally got home from my parents I immersed my hands in a sink of bleach and water. The water turned bright orange and for a second there I felt some relief that the capsicum oils were hopefully leaching out of my hands and fingers and nails, that is until I removed my hands from the bleach. I almost screamed it was so bad, the burning intensified. I had remembered reading something about allergies to peppers and if the burn is beyond horrible there could be a possibility that it could be an allergy. Jordan ran to get me the benedryl stick and that intensified the pain even more, plus I couldn't get the medicine out quick enough...stupid pen. I then just came to the conclusion that a baggie of ice was going to be in my future for a while. I also took 2 yes TWO hydrocodones and an allergy pill. I was then able to relax in bed with my baggie and hope that the pills would work soon. Around 1am I noticed that my right hand was only mildly hurting and then my left hands pain started to subside a bit, but this relief was short lived. I felt so bad because Jordan had made the bed all cushy and pillowy for me and it practically pushed him off the other side and with every move the baggie of ice would make a loud noise and wake him up. I finally fell asleep around 2:30am and woke clinging to ice packs. My right hand was fine in the morning, but my left was still pretty bad. I had noticed that the pads of my fingers and palm on my left hand were bright red and somewhat bruised and my nails were so sore. I could touch my tongue to my thumb nail and taste the hot peppers. At least I was able to function during this mornings activities with Sam and now the pain has almost completely gone away. I've got a little bit of deep burning, but that's about it and it's manageable. A couple of hours ago I wouldn't have been able to type at all.

My advice...WEAR RUBBER GLOVES while chopping up chilies and hot peppers. The salsa tastes delicious might I add. All the pain and suffering for such a beautiful product.